I used to have dreams of unwritten things.
of destiny. of promise. of purpose.
As they slowly withered away, I was unaware. I violently awoke to the realization that they were all gone. I was so blind to the fact that choosing to satisfy my flesh instead of my spirit could expunge them to the point of not remembering what they once were.
With visions of futurity erased, I float fixed in still water. How does one move forward in this stream of hopelessness? How does one really live without hope? I've come to find that you don't. You might go through the motions of life itself, but is that really living?
The realization of this all came about when my pastor started talking about how we're supposedly in a season of favor. He's said this over and over again, "In a time of favor, ask for favor, and the time of favor is now." So I searched my heart for dreams that had become absent, and asked what that really is all about.
I know that my God holds His plans for me in His hands. I know that those plans are to prosper me and not to harm me. I know that they are plans to give me hope and a future....
His plans....are to give me hope and a future. Do I need to know them in order to have hope? In order to have a future? When you're in a season of favor, and are supposed to ask for favor, how do you ask for something when you don't know what you want yourself?
As I leave and let all things go, I've chosen to go after God this summer. Wholeheartedly. Not half, not a quarter, but with all of my heart. I don't believe that I've ever known what that truly looks like in my life, but I'm hoping to find that out. Hoping. And the only thing that I know to ask God for in this moment is the restoration of my dreams and to replace all the absence with hope.
- Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
- Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
- Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
- Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
- Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
- I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
- Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
- Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
- Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
- Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
- Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
- Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
- Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
- Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
- Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
- High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
- High King of Heaven, my victory won,
- May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
- Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
- Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
