I woke up at 8:22 am.

Go Left. Feel Right.

myvisionisgettingworse.

Short hair/Long stature

::Sung to the tune of Cake's "Short skirt/Long Jacket"::

I want a guy with a mind like a wise man
I want a guy who knows he's blessed
I want a guy with shoes that shine
And eyes like the sea before a storm

I want a guy with some good avocations
Who's vast and classy
And good with his cash
He's praying with me daily
He's putting up with mom
He's telling me I'm beautiful
And guarding his mind

I want a guy with some short hair and a lonnnng stature......

I want a guy who's very burly
I want a guy who hates to date
I want a guy with indubitable sincerity
Who used a machete to get in good shape
With ginger ale that tastes like justice
He'll rejoice with a spark and lots of class

He's a blast and funny 
And doesn't have plaque
He's tearing up the dance floor
And true to his word

I want a guy with some short hair and a lonnnnng.... lonnng stature

I want a guy with determination
I want a guy with lots of good friends
And at the fish tank we will meet coincidentally 
We'll start to walk when we meet there again

He wants a car with seven seats for his family
He wants a car that will get us there
He's changing my name from mine to his last one
He's trading his sorrows for the Joy of the Lord

I want a guy with some short hair and a lonnnnggggggggg stature

The Brass Hussy GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

I love this blog, it's probably one of my favorites to look at. So much inspirational stuff on here, and there are giveaways all the time! Check it out!

The Brass Hussy GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Impossible is my New Favorite Word

Before you read this, I ask you to watch this. Please, it's old, it's Julie Andrews, and it's only 5 minutes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHtoxJ8as1s

I downloaded this song the other day and put this on my iPod. As I was on the bus to NYC Saturday, it came on shuffle. I love Julie Andrews, and I'm a big fan of fairy tales, so this just made me happy. But then as I listened to it, the Holy Spirit began ministering to me about the impossible, and how this word is going to become a very happy task for me. My advisor, yes, my advisor here at school, gave me this verse: Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God."

He's been speaking to me so often and so much clearer lately, and it's wonderful. Jesus romances me in all sorts of ways, even through fairy tales :-) Even though the link is of Cinderella, how often do you ever see fairy tale lives and happy endings like those that are in fairy tales? I know, not often. But that's not my point. Impossible things are happening everyday. I've watched someone been prayed over and had hearing restored to their deaf ears. I've seen miracles, even if they're small, happen. I've heard SO MANY great stories of missionaries around the world seeing full blown miracles. I want to be ALL OVER THAT! Every ounce of me wants to see the impossible be reversed. I want to see with my own eyes greater things! 

"Very truly I tell you, all who have faith in me will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." -John 14:12

This generation WILL see the Kingdom come to earth. This generation WILL behold the miracles we've been waiting for. This generation WILL see the next move of God, more powerful than EVER! This generation WILL experience His healing powers. I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I will disagree with you if you don't agree....I am living in the most exciting times to be alive ever. EVER! Tell yourself that everyDAY if you have to. I was born for such a time as this.

This gets my entire being excited...and I can start seeing and expecting things, right now:

Little story:

God's provided a college setting where I can openly and freely talk to my roommates about what I believe, and live a lifestyle like that. It's really cool, the conversations we've had have been wonderful. But I wanted something more. I talked to an older lady about this and she agreed with me, and was wondering if I could bring a bit of supernatural into the mix with my roommates, because a lot of talking is good, but there is no debate when the holy spirit comes into the room. So she gave me some things to look at and read and just encouraged me to pray for that and ask God to show me when the opportunity comes. 

Tonight, my roommate(who was previously in a minor car accident yesterday) came into my room and asked me to feel her forehead. She was warm, and she was afraid that there was a problem with her kidneys. 2 or 3 years ago she was hospitalized with kidney problems and now only 75% of her right kidney works (I think...) So she was really worried, has no insurance. She used my phone and while she was on the phone, I felt "the nudge." You know, that nudge that tells you to do something? I felt God telling me this was the opportunity I was waiting for. Go lay hands on her and pray for her.

I'm not gonna lie, I hesitated a bit...I didn't know how she'd take it, but I couldn't deny that it was God. So when she came back into my room I asked if she'd be comfortable with that, and she said yes and let me pray over her kidneys while laying hands on her back. I knew it was God, and she was thankful, and I trusted Him that He was going to make everything perfect, and I'm praying for the restoration of her kidneys (impossible? YES!) So she had our other roommate take her to the hospital to be safe, and she called me on her way back to tell me "YAY, JESUS! I twisted my back from the accident and that's it!"

I'm ecstatic. I found my passion. It's in the impossible. 

I was BORN to see the impossible happen.

Eternaphobia?

There's a thought that creeps into the back of my head every now and then. It's a thought that I don't like to entertain. I usually think about it until that I get that feeling. You know when you're on a roller coaster and you drop? It's kind of like that only worse. I've never understood the feeling, I've never understood why this thought freaks me out as much as it does to the point where I just don't think about it anymore.

Let me explain something before I explain my little uneasiness. I know with all of my heart, that because I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, and made Him King of my life, that I am headed home after my final breath. I cannot wait for that. I'm very truly excited for that day. I'm looking forward to it. Here's the clincher.

Eternity. No end. Never ending. Forever. And ever. Amen.

When I think about the fact that after this life on earth, I will be somewhere else forever, with no end, freaks me out like nothing else. No end? NO END? There's always an end to everything. It's time. It's how we live. It's how I live. To think about the fact that I'll never ever cease or be gone when I'm "home" should excite me. AND it does! To an extent. There's no way I'd ever want to change where I'm going and for how long. I'm not going to hell, it's not an option for me. I'd much rather be in heaven forever than hell. But for some strange reason, I feel uneasy about being someplace...forEVER. 

Again, this is not something I think about so often. But ever since I can remember really grasping the concept that since I'm a Christian and I live the way I do and made life long decisions, I will live in eternity with my Lord and King, the thought of eternity really freaks me out. Maybe I'm the only one. Maybe I have some sort of rare phobia that hasn't even been discovered yet. But to be completely honest...I don't like the thought of eternity. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever and ever...............etc. etc.........and there being no end. I know I cannot comprehend what heaven will be like, I really have no idea. I know it'll be something that would blow my brains to shreds if I could see it as a human. And I don't know if I'm fully getting across exactly how I feel about all of this, or what it is I'm truly afraid of, or not even afraid. Just uneasy with. I don't know. I've never really been able to say it all out myself, nor have I been able to figure out why I feel the way I do. I've never really asked anyone about this, so I don't know if I'm the only one or if I'm not. 

Please...do NOT misunderstand me. I'm not afraid of heaven, of going to a place SOOO much better than the one we're in right now. In all honestly, it's just the thought of eternity and time that never ends that makes me stop thinking of it all together.

So....any thoughts?

My heart aches for home

No, it's not our ultimate home that I'm longing for right now. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait and look forward to it, but I believe I have a long life to live before that happens.

To be honest, I don't even feel at home in my new home. Yes, the home that I own. I don't know if it's because I haven't spent much time there yet since I move back to school the day we moved in or if I just am not feeling it as home this time around. I don't feel homesick, like I can't be away from home. Trust me, most of the time I'd rather just stay at school. I don't have to worry about the stupid lack of parking where I live. I enjoy my library and design job and getting a break from Panera. I get a lot more work done at school than I would if I was trying to at home. Working in a lab on the weekends full of people who are at the same stress level as you can be motivating and comforting. But right now, I'm struggling with putting school first. 

I miss being at home and not rushing back to school worried that I won't make it in time for something or another. I miss being able to take a nice Sunday stroll with my friends on a gorgeous day. I miss being able to go out to lunch or get coffee or hang out at my best friends house. I haven't been able to do that in an extremely long time, and now that she's back, I'm not really around. I miss family dinners throughout the week. I miss my kids SO much it's not even funny. I miss being able to do things around home, like praying with all of you ladies, I really wish I could be there physically.

I'm ok with giving up doing most of the work for the Christmas Eve service because there's no way I can do most of what I wanted to. But I still wish I could be there for most of everything. And I'm sure there's many more of a thing that I wish to be back in Bethlehem for. I know a lot of people can't stand being "stuck" in Bethlehem. That's fine, go somewhere else. Give me my Bethlehem any day and I'll be happy. 

Trust me, I know. I know that this is where I'm supposed to be right now. My advisor was even able to tell me that. I know that God has me here at this point in my life for a reason. Maybe I'll never know. Maybe it'll turn out that I'll find out soon or not until I graduate. And I've already went learned this over the summer. If you give things to God; the good, the bad and the ugly, He'll work it for His good. I'm trying to trust that and know that He knows what He's doing. He's proved that to me time and time again. I just wish a wind of motivation would come. Perseverance or something. I'm asking Him for an Ali type of revelation :-) That He would reveal to me in His timing why the heck I'm still in school. Because I want this part of my life to end and for the next chapter to start. Am I scared? HECK YES. The idea of not being a student anymore and jumping into the real world is very scary, indeed. But this is the first time in my life where the feeling to move on, start a new season, has never been so deep down to the core of my being. I feel like I'm floating but stuck, and not going or drifting anywhere. So, I guess I'm just hoping for revelation. For something big to happen. Something that gets me excited. Something that motivates me. Something that...

 

Musical Stairs

Very smart.

Sand Art

Can you say "WOW" ???

Ps. I'm so unmotivated...unfocused...just not feeling anything that has to do with school right now...I just want to be done, I've had it.

Shirin Neshat

Ok, so in my art history class, I got really inspired today. Like...really. Jan, this is mainly for you, but Shirin Neshat's work is beautiful. I really was inspired by it today. Not only does she do these photographs, but she also makes video, so of course I was attracted to her work. It made me think that maybe this is the kind of thing we should do if we can get our Christmas photo's hung up. Like, maybe we have on each picture, text that's done by hand ontop of the photo's. I was thinking, depending on what pictures we use, that say on one with Keenan in it, we have her describe the feeling of what Mary was feeling at that moment when the picture was taken. Very abstract, not literal, but makes the viewer really think about it. So, keenan could either write it herself, or I could, but it would be the same looking handwriting for each character. How do you feel about that? And really, anyone else's opinion's are greatly appreciated!

And this is how it happened.

This morning marked a historical moment in my life. I will never forget it. And I can't speak for everyone this morning, I can only share my view, how I experienced it. 

Just about 5 months ago my world was a mess. I was in an awful place and I had just got out of something that was so unhealthy and horrible. I knew that since I was probably at my lowest, I couldn't do anything but decide to go up. And so I replaced the old bad stuff, with some good new stuff.  

I basically decided to jump into a new project in dance. I hadn't danced with my girls in a very long time, and I missed it dearly. So, a few of us met and started searching for songs. The only direction we had to go with was what Grubby had been talking about since school ended for me. Favor. I'm sure we all know this by heart now..."In a season of favor, ask for favor, and the time of favor is now." It took us two or three meetings until the last song we listened to was "Rain Down" by Delirious. It clicked. It was exactly what we were looking for! Holy fire...rain down favor...I mean, it just made sense to all of us. Practices started soon after. Bekah and I mapped out and outlined what the dance would look like. I thought "Hey, what if we used sticks in this dance somewhere?" "What if we had a bunch of people worship with us at the end?"

And of course, complications will arise when you ask for a large amount of people, but we thought it would be cool, and it wouldn't hurt to ask. So, lots of planning preparation, choreography, practicing, asking people to join us, speaking to church secretaries, associate pastors, and ironing out many many details began.

This is where this starts to get cool. I can't remember them all, but God started showing me there was significance in rain. He spoke to me through it. That made me think that this dance was really important to Him. I started getting more and more excited, and felt like this was going to coincide with what we all were seeing as to be a shift in the atmosphere and really in the way old things were going to be gone. So, I decided I would have people pray over this. 

Then at practice a few weeks ago, we were working on the part where we would bring in our worshippers at the end. And as I stood there and watched, God said to me "You really think it's just cool that these people are going to worship with you at the end? Nooooooooooooo. There is MUCH significance in what I brought them here for, you have NO idea. THEY are ushering in the presence of the HS and bring in Heaven with them." And I went..."oooooooohhhhhhhhhh."

Then one of the ladies who was praying for this dance approached me one Sunday morning to pray over me and the dance and to give a vision/word she got one night while she was praying. She told me that she saw a tornado. And in that tornado were strands of DNA that were coming down from the sky in the center of this tornado. And she as like, ok God, that's cool, what does this mean? And He told her that the DNA of Heaven was going to fall that morning when we danced. 

Wow. Was that not awesome? Wait...that's right on with what God told me! Woo-hoo! This is going to be great!

Everything came together. God brought the people. He worked everything out. I could feel His presence SO strongly during rehearsal the day before, and definitely the morning of, AND when we all prayed together. We almost had to give Ali the mic to lead worship while Vickie almost fell on the floor. Thanks to Cara, who caught her cup of coffee, there was no spill :-)

And then we did it. It was like my baby. Not to say I did all of the work, we all worked so very hard and I am so appreciative to everyone who helped in any way at all. This was just something that I looked at this morning....from where I was, and to where God brought me, equals SO FAR! 

All of the hard work, dedication and love that was put into that finally happened. And it was nothing like I had ever even comprehended would happen. It was mind blowing, goosebumping, knock your socks off morning. I mean, after it was over, worship was insane. I've never experienced anything like this in my entire life. It was like Heaven came to earth. We were in the throne room. The angels were singing and worshipping with us, and the atmosphere completely shifted. I was happy. So joyous. I've never felt this way in my entire life. And I now know what the repercussions of obedience can do. It is quite simply amazing. I'm so excited to see what's to come, because I know this is just a TASTE of what's to come! I'm asking for more, every single day.

Oh, and to everyone I told that big things were gonna happen this summer/year...

TOLD YA SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (insert Winnie Banov laugh here...)

Advertisement Fashion Project

Contrast between now and the 50's in fashion ads.

Reverse Graffiti

This is brilliant and beautiful.

And the angels woke up...

So...to sum it up...God has been doing some amazing, big things. Shifts are happening. Hearts are turning. Healing is happening. I can finally say, I believe that history is being made today, and I get to be a part of it. You know, I was kinda upset that I wasn't able to go an event that was planned carefully to usher in the next strategic move of the Spirit, and I heard some pretty good things happened, but there weren't any huge angels that sat up from the ground. I was told by someone special that she truly believes that God is waiting for me, He knows how badly I want to see His kingdom come from heaven and to actually see the atmosphere change, and He's waiting for me, He'll allow me to see it happen. I'm so excited. Never have I been so excited to be alive and to be a part of what God is doing. And I can see it! It's what I'm living for. He's worth every breath I have, and every waking moment is lived for Him. GAHHH!!! I love this, I love Him!

So, with that being said, as an update, I'm sure more things are to come. The creativity in me is at an all time high, and He's the one who's inspired me. I'm so excited for this next move to happen and to bring new ideas and creativity to the table! So...look for that...I've already started to do video announcements, I know there's more to come.

Also...I'm keeping this blogger for personal stuff, writing and such, and then I'll be posting most of my creative outlet on here:

http://fergusthebrave.tumblr.com/

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Get ready guys, something HUGE is not only going to happen, it's already started!

I had lost all dreams of unwritten things

...until this summer...

God gave me a vision of my destiny, of his promise. of my purpose and where my identity lies...

At the end of an awful spring semester, I came to a dead end. It wasn't even a choice of continuing the way I was living or to make a turn around. It was just that I had to change everything that I was doing. I made the choice to seek God with my entire heart and being this summer. I also made a list of things that I wanted him to restore. 

*I asked Him to restore my dreams, to give me a vision and hope for my purpose. 

*I asked to be romanced by Him

*I asked Him to teach me to lean and understand the way that God speaks with me.

*I also asked Him to teach me how to listen, how to spend time with Him. 

*I asked Him to show me ways that I can use the skills and talents that He's given me , to use them for HIs Kingdom

*And I also asked for healing in many areas of my life

I let God do what He needed to do in my life this summer. It hurt just about all the time, but I knew it needed to happen. And now, as the end of summer approaches, I can see every single way He answered me.

*Not only did He restore my dreams, visions, and desires, he multiplied them with more than I could even handle!

*I felt His love in a new way, never before have I experienced this kind of love, and I've found a new joy in my heart. He shows me everyday how much He loves me, and I know that I can't even comprehend it all yet!

*I'm still learning the way He speaks to me, but I'm hearing Him more clearly than ever before.

*I've learned what it means to rest in Him, to spend time with Him and soak in His presence, and it is the most satisfying thing I've ever tasted.

*I was asked at the beginning of the summer to start producing video announcements for the church. I had no experience, and just decided I would give it a try, and it's been a joy and a blessing to be a part of it. 

*Healing. It's a really long process, and takes a lot of time. I know I've seen areas of healing in my life already, but I know that He's not finished yet, and I am perfectly fine with that. He knows what He's doing, and I trust Him, more than anything else in the world.

Transformation is like healing, and it's just as important. The only thing we can do is be humbled and submit ourselves to what God needs to do. I have never felt this way in my entire life. I get up thinking about God. I go to work thinking about God. I do things, thinking about God, looking forward to spending time with Him when I get home. He gave me courage. He encouraged me, loved on me, and became my everything. I have found a love, that lights up every room....and it is so amazing. My eyes are fixed on Him, and will continue to be. He's about to do something really big, something so exciting, and I'm honored to be a part of it. And NO one, not the enemy, not any man, can take that away.

I was born for such a time as this!

Captivated by your beauty

To those who may have forgotten...(<-Click here)

You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are wholly and dearly loved. You are sought after, pursued, romanced, the passionate desire of your Fiance, Jesus. You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed.

As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship. You are inviting; you can risk being vulberable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God's love. You labor with God to bring forth life–in creativity, in work, in others. Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The King is captivated by your beauty.

–Excerpt from "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge

I've currently been pondering the mystery of the human heart and how I don't understand it. Any thoughts?

I was made for bigger things.

I am made with purpose and was made for bigger things.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Jeremiah 1:5

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

Psalm 18:16

He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.

-Galatians 3:14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

-Jeremiah 29:11

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

-Proverbs 23:17-18

I am accepted in Christ.

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

-John 1:12

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

-Romans 8:14-16

I am secure in Christ.

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

-2 Corinthians 1:21-22

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 8:39

I am significant in Christ.

I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit-fruit that will last-and so that whatever you ask in my name the father will give you.

-John 16:15-16

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 

-2 Corinthians 5:17-20

Now if we are children, we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

-Romans 8:17

Jesus IS my Hero

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Colossians 1:13-14

"Because they love me," says the Lord, "I will rescue them; I will protect them, for they acknowledge my name. They will call on me, and I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will deliver them and honor them. With long life I will satisfy them and show them my salvation."

Psalm 91:14-16

And you know what? You were made with a purpose and called to bigger and better things. You are accepted, secure and significant in Christ. Know who you are in Christ. Let Jesus be the man who rescues you. You and I are not something to be trifled with. We are sons and daughters of the most high. We need to step up and take our places as he has called us to do and accept that even though we don't deserve it, he gave us the right to become children of God.

We are the redeemed

We are the ones who are free
And we belong to Jesus
We are now alive
And in this world we will shine
We belong to Jesus

Dreams of Unwritten Things

I used to have dreams of unwritten things.

 

of destiny. of promise. of purpose. 

As they slowly withered away, I was unaware. I violently awoke to the realization that they were all gone. I was so blind to the fact that choosing to satisfy my flesh instead of my spirit could expunge them to the point of not remembering what they once were.

With visions of futurity erased, I float fixed in still water. How does one move forward in this stream of hopelessness? How does one really live without hope? I've come to find that you don't. You might go through the motions of life itself, but is that really living?

The realization of this all came about when my pastor started talking about how we're supposedly in a season of favor. He's said this over and over again, "In a time of favor, ask for favor, and the time of favor is now." So I searched my heart for dreams that had become absent, and asked what that really is all about.

I know that my God holds His plans for me in His hands. I know that those plans are to prosper me and not to harm me. I know that they are plans to give me hope and a future....

His plans....are to give me hope and a future. Do I need to know them in order to have hope? In order to have a future? When you're in a season of favor, and are supposed to ask for favor, how do you ask for something when you don't know what you want yourself? 

As I leave and let all things go, I've chosen to go after God this summer. Wholeheartedly. Not half, not a quarter, but with all of my heart. I don't believe that I've ever known what that truly looks like in my life, but I'm hoping to find that out. Hoping. And the only thing that I know to ask God for in this moment is the restoration of my dreams and to replace all the absence with hope. 

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;

Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;

Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Two more weeks...

until I can come home and sleep in my own bed in my own room.

until I can lay about on the Westgates couch as the breeze flows in and out of the screen door while we watch our favorite movie.

until we can take random road trips, to all sorts of beaches with all kinds of people, and I can let the ocean take control of my body.

until my best friend and I can wait for the golden hour, and go about finding new places and random objects to capture in a new way with our other best friends, our cameras.

until my skin will start to turn the color that the winter never sees.

until I have more time to delve into all of the books I've been wanting to read, outside.

until I can wait for the summer nights where there's a thunderstorm, and be comforted as I fall asleep listening to the rain on my window.

until I can really look forward to the hot summer days that can only be cooled down by walking in the creek, eating ice cream, drinking milkshakes and smoothies, or even running in skirts out on my best friends front lawn, in her land lords sprinklers, hoping they won't catch us and think we're nuts.

until I can look forward to late nights, and savor all the sun that I possibly can.

until I am done with my first year at Kutztown. 

Oh, what a summer this will be.

.Coffee, Tea, and Breakfast Sandwiches.

He stands there, waiting behind glass doors only for her.
If only he'd let the resplendent sunrise behind him shatter that protective glass away.

He greets her with embracing arms, giving her the comfort she won't find elsewhere.
Sometimes a routinely familiar face will haste away her fears, for something that's daily has become desideratum.

In those quiet hours, as the sun starts to peak through, she sees the man he's meant to become.
Behind his tired crystal eyes protrudes the longing for something else, someone else.

She wishes his eye could catch a glimpse of what she sees when she looks at him...strong, bold, courageous, caring, loving, concerned, determined.
Yet the words she chooses are too simple for this wonderfully intricate person.

She'll continue this morning occasion, continue to hope that he'll see himself in a different light.
She'll continue to pray that he'll gaze through the eyes of One who loves him not for his actions, but for the simple reason that He chose him and decided to love him.