Dreams

"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange."

-Cobb from Inception

I've always been somewhat fascinated by dreams. Very recently that fascination has grown immensely. If I would ever go back to school, it'd probably be just to study them. They're just so interesting and the effect that they have on us is intriguing. I've had dreams before about a person that I have no romantic interest in, and then I wake up feeling different about them, as if maybe I had underlying feelings for them all along. How is that possible and why does that happen? I mean, usually it doesn't last but a day, but why would a dream have you concentrate on them that long that some weird feeling arises? Was that feeling there already? Or were you just now thinking about it a little too much?

This past weekend I had a dream two nights in a row involving a person I used to know. I woke up feeling different about them, not romantically, but any negative feelings I had towards them momentarily disappeared. But when I think about it, it's like the person in my dream is not the same person in real life. I know they haven't changed. So do I just take it as what it is? Just a simple dream that came from my subconscious and leave it at that? Is it God trying to speak to me about them? Nothing monumental happened in this dream at all. We both approached each other and this person said they wanted to talk and I agreed and that's all that happened. Which in real life, I don't know that I would have agreed to do so.

I do believe dreams can be prophetic or come from God, but I don't believe that they all are. So I'm left with just waiting on God I guess.

On a different note, last night I had the sweetest dream I've ever had in my entire life. I dreamt that I was with my future husband. I didn't know who he was in real life, I just knew in my dream I was with my future husband. I felt so safe and I felt at peace. We were outside of a beautiful place that looked like it was a castle. It was a warm fall day with brightly colored trees and we were dancing. I've never danced with anyone like that before. Well, I've never really slow danced with the male gender period. But it was the most romantic thing I've ever felt, and the sweetest dream I've ever had.

Dreams of Unwritten Things

I used to have dreams of unwritten things.

 

of destiny. of promise. of purpose. 

As they slowly withered away, I was unaware. I violently awoke to the realization that they were all gone. I was so blind to the fact that choosing to satisfy my flesh instead of my spirit could expunge them to the point of not remembering what they once were.

With visions of futurity erased, I float fixed in still water. How does one move forward in this stream of hopelessness? How does one really live without hope? I've come to find that you don't. You might go through the motions of life itself, but is that really living?

The realization of this all came about when my pastor started talking about how we're supposedly in a season of favor. He's said this over and over again, "In a time of favor, ask for favor, and the time of favor is now." So I searched my heart for dreams that had become absent, and asked what that really is all about.

I know that my God holds His plans for me in His hands. I know that those plans are to prosper me and not to harm me. I know that they are plans to give me hope and a future....

His plans....are to give me hope and a future. Do I need to know them in order to have hope? In order to have a future? When you're in a season of favor, and are supposed to ask for favor, how do you ask for something when you don't know what you want yourself? 

As I leave and let all things go, I've chosen to go after God this summer. Wholeheartedly. Not half, not a quarter, but with all of my heart. I don't believe that I've ever known what that truly looks like in my life, but I'm hoping to find that out. Hoping. And the only thing that I know to ask God for in this moment is the restoration of my dreams and to replace all the absence with hope. 

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;

Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;

Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.